Paranoia
by I Kidnapped Sirius Black
Summary: Okay, I'm a bit paranoid. I admit it. And I suppose finding a two way mirror in my bathroom hasn't helped my... condition much. CO-WRITTEN BY Barbara Manatee -In the Flesh-
1. Two Sided Mirror

_My first story! Since I hate author's notes at the end of the chapter, I'm going to make them at the top!_

_The idea for this story began with me reading a chainletter. Of course, I had to combine Sirius Black and this beautiful plotline to get Paranoia. I didn't originally plan for her to be paranoid, but I wouldn't have it any other way._

_The chapters are slightly short (only 3000) and I'm capable of more, but hey. This is a fairly simple story with a fairly simple point, so the chapters will remain this length. :) Enjoy, and review!  
_

**Paranoia**

Chapter 1: **  
**

Chainletters are a waste of space. A waste of time. And most importantly, a waste of _my _time. It's a waste of anyone's time, really.

So, why did I open that email? Because I had absolutely nothing better to do. I had three emails when I checked it that morning, and none of them were facebook ones (those are SO annoying...), so I felt the need to click it.

It showed some fancy diagrams, then told me that in public restrooms there is a chance that there is a two way mirror (they can see you, but you can't see them... how creepy is that?). You just press your fingernail to the window, and if there is a gap between the two fingers, you have a normal mirror. But if the tips of your fingers... merge, sort of... then you've got yourself a two way mirror!

How creepy.

It even had a nifty little rhyme: "No space, leave the place". Very catchy, in my opinion.

So, I go into my bathroom (the one where I shower, change, ect.) and press my fingernail to the mirror... and I let out a horrified scream. _No gap_.

"No Space, Leave the Place".

I did just that. I ran out screaming.

"What's wrong, dear?" My mom called.

"DOUBLE MIRROR!" I screamed before running out the door like I was on fire. My mother sighed, and probably muttered something like, "That girl..." with a fond smile.

Hopefully.

I sprinted down the street, but I had stopped screaming. I don't exactly know why I was running. I just start running when I get freaked out... This sort of backfires on the people trying to scare me. And if a guy with a gun points it at my head and says, "Don't run!" it'll backfire because I just _have _to run.

So, with my amazing luck, I run straight into a group of _guys_. It's like they just popped out of nowhere! I was running so fast, I knocked one down, right on the sidewalk! A sidewalk of cement. That means that it HURTS when you fall down. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I squeaked, staring down into grey eyes. Great. Not only was it a group of _guys _that were a year or so older than me, they were _hot_.

"It's fine." He said easily. "Mind gettin' off me, now?" He grunted.

_Rude_. I rolled off of him instead of speaking. I hopped up. "Have a nice day!" I called as I walked away.

"Wait!"

I turned around, eyebrows up. "You can't just mow us down and not tell us _why _you were running," A black haired guy with glasses smirked.

"Oh... See, I run when I panic, and I read this chainletter, and it told me how to check to see if it's a double mirror, and then I go to my bathroom and I do it, and it said "No Space, Leave the Place" and there was no space... So, erm... I left the place."

No one said anything, so I clarified a bit. "I have a two way mirror in my _bathroom _where I _shower_. Who _knows _what's on the other side?" I demanded hysterically. "I share that bathroom with my 16 year old sister! And my mother! That's just _weird_."

A family of women. No men. They walk out on us.

Okay, Jim (my brother) is off at college. And my dad died of cancer when I was 3. Still.

"Are you sure that it's a two way mirror?" A blonde asked, his golden eyes concerned.

"...I probably should have double checked that, shouldn't I have." I admitted sheepishly. "But, my fingers MERGED. That means a two way mirror!"

"We can come look at it for you," The blonde continued.

"Stranger danger," I reminded them...and myself.

The two black haired guys (one of them being the one I ran over) burst out laughing. "You're cute," Grey Eyes smirked at me.

"I'm 18!" I declared, appalled.

"Cute," Glasses agreed.

"Do you have your mom at home?" Blondie asked.

"...Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell her about the mirror, then?" Grey Eyes asked, clearly amused.

"I did! ...Sort of..."

"Well, since your mom is home, we can go check your mirror. She can be in the same room as us,"

I stared at them suspiciously for a moment, before shrugging. "Okay," Then I began to walk back the way I came. The three guys walked behind me, talking amongst themselves. Wait... They could be rapists! THEY'RE MURDERERS! THEY'RE THE ONES WHO ARE STALKING ME THROUGH THE MIRROR! Panic set in, and I began to sprint. "YOU'LL NEVER RAPE ME, RAPISTS!" I screamed over my shoulder.

Okay, I'm a bit paranoid. I admit it. And I suppose finding a two way mirror in my bathroom hasn't helped my... condition much.

What _really _freaked me out was that they ran after me. That REALLY got the panic going. "RAPE! RAPE!" I screamed to anyone who was watching. But for some reason, everyone just chuckled and waved. Alright... maybe my condition isn't that private.

"BLOODY MURDER!" I tried.

Nothing.

I was going as fast as my legs could carry me. I ran up to my house and burst into the door. "MOM, SOME GUYS FOLLOWED ME HOME! RAAAAAPE!"

My mother laughed. "Where are they?"

"Dead," I hissed. Then I blinked. Along with paranoia, I often say "dead" or "death" as a reflex when asked questions.

My mom walked to the front door. GAH! Was she going to let them _in_? What is WRONG with her?

I nervously tip toed behind her, and peeped over her shoulder. There they were! Laughing hysterically, going up the driveway.

"Are you drunk?" My mom asked them. They shook their heads. "High?" Once again, shook their heads. "Are you trying to rape my daughter?" You guessed it: they shook their heads.

"LIARS!"

"Shush, dear. What are you here for?"

Blondie spoke. "Well, your daughter told us that her mirror was double sided. I told her that we would come check it out,"

"Oh. Fine, then. We don't have anything worth stealing, so don't even think about it,"

Amazing. My mom would let a convicted MURDERER into our house and not be worried. What a contrast to me, who refuses to eat at restaurants for fear of poisoning.

"The bathroom is right upstairs, first room on the left."

"Mother, it's the ONLY room up there!"

"You have an extra floor just for a bathroom?" Grey Eyes chuckled.

"I LIED! IDIOT!" I began to bang my head on the wall.

"...Is your daughter perfectly sane?" Blondie asked hesitantly.

"Yup. She's just got a fine case of paranoia and idiocy," My mom said cheerfully. "She's pretty bright, she just acts on random whims. Dear, why don't you go take your pills."

"...No. I don't trust that doctor."

"..." She gave me _The Look_. I groaned.

"Fine." I stomped into the kitchen, grabbed my prescription, and took out the instructed two pills. I gagged on the poison going down my throat. If I die, it will be on my mom's head. On a whim, I read the bottle... _One pill_. Oops. I guess it's on my head.

Oh well.

I jogged upstairs. The three guys and my mom were inspecting the mirror. "We can remove the mirror for you and check to see if there's a space behind it," Grey Eyes suggested.

"That would be just fine. I'm going to go make cookies," My mom smiled and walked out of the room. I watched the guys wearily.

I watched as Blondie and Glasses carefully inspected the mirror, and finally lifted it off the wall. My eyes were wide as I saw there was, in fact, a room behind it. And on the other side of the mirror, it looked like glass.

The room was square and dull, with rough cement walls and floors with an _armchair _seated in the middle. No one to be found. I self consciously crossed my arms over my chest. "This is so creepy!" I whispered. "Some perv gets comfy in a seat and watched me change!" I grabbed Grey Eyes (he wasn't doing anything) by the arm, looking at him with wide eyes. "Some perv has seen me naked! He's seen my sister! He just sits there, gettin' comfy while we stalks us! I HAVE A STALKER!"

Then I went white. "Or maybe he's stalking my sister! MY SISTER HAS A STALKER!" I began to pace wildly. "We have to call the police! The FBA! CALL THE FIREMEN! CALL MY UNCLE LOUIE! CALL THE—" Then I slipped and sprawled into Grey Eyes's arms. I smiled sheepishly up at him. Wow, he's _really _hot. I don't think I would mind being raped by him.

Oh, heck yes, I would! "Thanks for not dropping me!" I smiled at him, then stood up.

"This... is creepy," Blondie admitted. "I don't see how the person got in and out of this little room, though. I don't see another entry."

"Feel around," I suggested. "Maybe it's like a secret door... or something."

Probably just to humor me, the paranoid crazy girl, he felt around. Glasses helped. Grey Eyes didn't do anything. "Why aren't you helping them?" I asked him.

"I have to catch you in case you start panicking again and fall," He shrugged.

"Nothing," Blondie sighed after a moment of feeling around.

"We should set up a minuscule camera!" I decided. "And then I can stalk that creep when he's stalking my bloody sister! TAKE THAT, YOU PERVERTED STALKER! I bet he molests children." I said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"It could be a woman."

I stared at Grey Eyes in horror, then shook my head. "...No. No. It's a man."

"We don't have a minuscule camera," Blondie admitted. "Maybe we should call the police."

"NO! Your DNA is all over it, now! They'll think you're the rapists!"

"I thought you thought we were." Glasses smirked.

"Nah. That was a fleeting thought that passed a long time ago."

"Well," Glasses spoke up. "I think the best thing to do is to steal his nifty armchair and replaced the mirror."

"Good idea," I nodded gravely.

"Cookies!" My mom called. I jogged down the stairs ahead of them.

I made a face. "Ugh, peanut butter! Mom, some people are ALLERGIC to that stuff! And it's just plain nasty,"

"Ooh, peanut butter cookies! I love those!" Grey Eyes boomed.

"So do I!" I grinned. I grabbed three and happily took a bite. The texture was kind of cool, I just had to pretend it wasn't peanut butter... Ugh. What if Grey Eyes starts force-feeding me peanut butter cookies because I said that I like them? See, that's the problem with lies. I need to be more like honest Abe.

"I cannot tell a lie," I declared. "I slept naked last week even though my mom told me not to because she said it was creepy,"

Glasses and Grey Eyes clapped. "Thank you," I nodded at them, then sat down. I looked at Blondie. "Blondie, why aren't you eating any cookies?"

"I'm allergic," He admitted.

"MOM!" I screamed. "I TOLD YOU SOME PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC!"

"Yeah, well, some people are allergic to oatmeal, so I couldn't very well make that, could I?"

I blinked at her, and decided not to say anything. I would probably just embarrass myself. I let them talk, and I zoned out. I was beginning to calm down from the pills. I took a deep breath. "My name's Isis."

"Isis?" Grey Eyes raised his eyebrows at me.

"If your name was Hannah, would you rather be called by your middle name, Isis, or have people say, "Hannah Banana" like people tend to?"

"Okay, then, Isis, my name is James Potter," Glasses smiled at me.

"Can I keep calling you Glasses, though? It sort of fits."

"But then I'll get self conscious of it." He whined.

"But when I run screaming through a store and yell for a "Glasses", you know it's you. If I said James, fifteen middle aged men would turn to look at me,"

"My name isn't that common." James disagreed. Aw, dangit! Now I'm already calling him James.

"Fine. Your name is James," I smiled at him.

"You have a pretty smile," He grinned widely at me.

"Aw, thanks!"

"My name's Remus Lupin," Blondie said before the silence could become awkward.

"You'll forever be Blondie to me," I promised. Blondie smiled.

"And I'm Sirius Black," Grey Eyes looked at me. "What's my nickname?"

"Grey Eyes," At his scandalized look, I shrugged. "It was the first thing I noticed about you."

I finished off my last cookie a moment later, then I stood up. "Want to come mirror shopping with me? I want to replace it as soon as possible."

"We should steal that arm chair first," James pointed out.

"You go ahead and do that," I nodded at him, sinking back into the couch. Grey Eyes sat beside me... I think Grey Eyes fits him better than Sirius. I have a hard time thinking it.

"Padfoot, aren't you going to help me steal the chair?" James whined. Who is Padfoot?

"Nah, I'm pretty comfortable right here," Sirius said, putting an arm on my shoulders. It felt... nice. Really nice. On instinct, I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"So am I." I smiled lazily up at James. He frowned.

"Fine. Moony, come with me," James nodded at Blondie. Blondie groaned, and the two walked upstairs, their heavy footfalls shaking my small house. I remember back in 7th grade my pre algebra room shook every time one of the taller guys walked around.

"Did James call you "Padfoot"?" I asked Grey Eyes, still in the extremely comfortable position of my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah... He did. I call him Prongs."

"Why is Blondie called "Moony"? That's sort of a dumb nickname. And why are you called Padfoot? Why is he called Prongs? Those are really weird names."

"It's an inside joke," Sirius (I alternate between Grey Eyes and Sirius, as you can see) shrugged, making my head move up and down with the movement I picked my head off of his shoulder, and sat up straight. I stretched.

James and Blondie came down the stairs, holding the ugly _plaid _armchair. Who buys a plaid armchair? Disgusting.

"What are you guys going to do with that? You guys didn't come here in a car." I asked curiously.

"We have our ways," James said mysteriously. Blonde turned to me, setting down the chair. This forced James to drop his side of the chair as well.

"Can we go mirror shopping with you tomorrow?" Blondie asked.

"Oh, sure. I guess." I smiled at them.

"We have to get going," Blondie announced.

"We do?" James and Sirius whined at the same time in the same tone.

Creeeepy...

"Yeah. We were going to meet Lily, remember?"

"Lily? Who is Lily?" I asked curiously.

"My fiance," James smiled goofily.

"You don't look like you're old enough to have a fiance," I observed.

"These are hard times," James shrugged.

"...No. They're really not."

"I suppose not for you, but for us it's rather hard. We come from a place that's fighting a war currently. You never know what's going to happen next,"

"I would ask you where you live, but I'm having a hard time breathing knowing the fact that you know where I live," I admitted. "You guys can come over any time you want tomorrow. I'll be waiting."

"Thanks! Bye!" Blondie said as he dragged Grey eyes and James out.

"Bye, kids!" My mom called, shutting the door behind them. She turned to me. "Oh, it's so nice that you have friends!"

"...Mother, are you implying that you didn't know I had friends before?" I sniffed.

She ignored me. "Oh, and they're _boys _too! Maybe you won't be an old spinster! Now, Rachel, there is _no _doubt in my mind that she'll marry! I mean, she has a nice, busty figure. I'm afraid you're a bit flat. I was just _so _worried."

"Mother!" I said, scandalized. "There is nothing wrong with my breasts!"

My mother has a talent for ignoring me. "And your hair is so dull, just brown... Your sister's auburn hair is just _so _beautiful!" She cooed.

"Mom!" I whined. "My hair's beautiful! It's like chocolate!"

"Oh, and she's had eight boyfriends!" She turned to look at me for the first time since the beginning of our "conversation". "Have you even had one?"

"I've had three! Jared, Mike, and Frank!"

"And you never brought them home?"

"Why would I?"

"Oh, but those were all before your... illness."

"Say it."

"What?"

"Say it out loud."

"...Dear, have you been watching that ridiculous vampire love story again?"

"I want to hear you say it!"

"What?" She sighed.

"My illness! SAY IT!"

She looked at me like I was insane (which I suppose I am). "Paranoia."

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it." I smiled at her, patting her hand.

"I never had a problem with it. I just paused because it seemed dramatic."

"Mom! You really need to stop misleadin—" My eyes grew wide, and I sprinted to the bathroom. I puked my guts out into the toilet.

"Are you alright?"

"I told you those peanut butter cookies are nasty!" I hissed. One extra pill couldn't give you an upset stomach, would it...? Unless... Unless it WAS poison!

I ran out of the house screaming.


	2. I Found Tom Riddle's Diary

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. **

_This is written by Barbara Manatee -In The Flesh- who writes a freaking hilarious Tom Riddle story and a sexy Tom Riddle. Introducing Tom Riddle's first horcrux, and Isis's only friend and penpal, Rosenbalk. :D Check out "Some Happy Ending Indeed". :) _

Chapter 2: I Found Tom Riddle's Diary_  
_

I glared at the blank diary. What kind of idiot doesn't write in their diary? That's just messed up. Which means that it's mine. Because, clearly, I am NOT an idiot, nor a blank diary. So it's possession falls to me.

Oh, I'm sure that Tom Riddle liked this diary. But whoever he was, he was one messed up kid.

Thrusting it open, I took out a normal pen, and wrote, as neatly as possible,

**I don't know who Tom Riddle was, but he was an idiot. He didn't even write in this diary. What kind of creep gets his name engraved in their diary, and doesn't write a thing?**

I began to scream hysterically as I looked over what I had just written. It was GONE! It had DISAPPEARED!

**I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion.**

I glared at the diary as something was written. WHAT THE HECK?

**Let me guess. This is the latest new toy, and that's the only thing you can say. **Sure enough, my words sank into the pages again.

In reply, the words appeared. **I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion.**

I smirked. **I knew it!**

**No, not quite.**

I rolled my eyes. **Ooh, it says TWO things! AMAZING!**

**Sarcasm is not appreciated. **

**Yeah? Is that so? Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you started talking to me.**

**Believe it or not, life as a book is very boring.**

I stared at the book aghast. Wait...it had been talking to me. As if having a conversation. **I suppose you're some dark creature that got bound into this book to repent of it's sins and to suffer and eternity of angst. Well, if that's the case, I am not in any way letting you out.**

**I suppose it's too late to ask for somebody else to talk to then.**

**...Yeah, It is.**

**I also suppose I'm speaking to a muggle?**

**Creep. Only people who are into Harry Potter mumbo-jumbo say stuff like that. Hey! I get it now! You're Voldemort. Well, his first horcrux. Ooh, this is SO cool. Except for the fact that you should have been stabbed with Gryffindor's sword, which is filled with Basilik venom...**

**What an untimely, imaginary death.**

**Hey! At least I got the fact that you're a future Voldemort right. Heh. I can finally rant at you for all the PAIN AND MISERY you caused, you little sadistic CREEP! HONESTLY-who goes off and starts wars, murdering hundreds if not thousands, on a whim? What kind of sane human being DOES that?**

**I suppose the answer to that is that I'm not sane.  
****  
Got that right, you little messed up jerk.**

**Are you quite done yet?**

**Not remotely! What is your ISSUE, man? Everybody LIKED you. You were POPULAR. You should have been HAPPY! Instead, you go searching for a DIADEM? I don't care WHO owned it-that's just stupid. And this whole 'anti muggle' campeign? Please! You're SUCH an Adolf Hitler. He was jewish, and YOU are a half blood.**

**...Adolf Hitler?**

**YOU DON'T KNOW-You're goading me. You lived in an orphanage in the MUGGLE world.**

**Alright. Perhaps I do know who Adolf Hitler is.**

**I suppose you think you're funny.**

**That depends. Are you laughing?**

**No. Not even close.**

**Then no. I wasn't.**

Quite contrary to what I was writing, I giggled at that.

**So. When does the manipulating start?**

**Forgive me if I don't follow.**

**When are you going to start trying to befriend me and then get me to free you? Because if that's what you think is going to happen, you're dead wrong. I would love nothing more than to believe that you're not evil. But you've already murdered somebody. That's why you're HERE. I don't believe you can change. And even if you seem to, it's all a trick. I want to make that clear. I don't trust you.**

**Fair enough. I suppose I should consign myself to a life of living in this book until you die and somebody foolish stumbles upon me.**

**As if! I plan on dumping you down a well next chance I get. I said I don't trust you NOW, but I don't trust myself. I'm willing to bet that you WILL worm your way into my trust.**

**Water won't damage me.**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read the books too-nerd. Anyways, I'm not trying to destroy you. As far as I know, only basilisk venom can do that. No, I'm trying to formulate a plan in which nobody can get you.**

**I'm sorry, books?**

**Yeah. There are books on Harry Potter-the guy who defeats you. Except he defeats something that is not nearly as pleasant to look at as you, I'm assuming. You make seven horcruxes. You lose your nose, your ears, and even your hair.**

**What a shame.**

**I know! I always liked noses. And ears. And hair.**

**I suppose it will be of no consolation to you that I still have them?**

**Oh, I know. I KNOW! But I don't care.**

**It's funny-neither do I.**

**Well, aren't you just bordering on boring.**

**I don't have to be.  
****  
...Just exactly what are you implying?**

**You can get me out of here. **

**...That was weak. That was actually pathetic.**

**It was worth a shot.**

**I don't even know why I'm talking to you! It's useless-you'll either hopelessly manipulate me, or I bore myself to death. I should slam this diary shut right now. And stop insulting you. If somebody releases you, then I know who you'll kill first.**

**But I don't want to kill you. You amuse me.**

**Oh, I amuse you? Is that freaking so?**

**Yes. Usually, when somebody writes to me, it's to tell me how tragic their lives are. And I'm always there for them.**

**But you won't ever be there for me. I won't let you.**

**I know. Which is why this is such a fascinating position. I've never met a human quite like you before.**

**Oh, no! You're not going to use flattery either. Gosh. You sound like Edward Cullen.**

**Edward Cullen?**

**Gosh. I should write in Twilight for you. I'm sure a closet romantic like you would enjoy it.**

**...Edward Cullen?**

**Oh, yeah. He's my vampire boyfriend. He gave me this diary for my birthday, telling me how he KNEW how much I LOVE talking diaries.**

**So you're a female?**

**No, idiot. I'm a male-I'm gay.**

**Would you shoot me if I told you I'm gay?**

**I KNEW IT! And I don't talk to gays.**

**But you are gay.**

**As if! I am 100% female, and straight.**

**...I am bisexual.**

**Yeah. I'm sure. Too little, too late.**

**Alright. I'll admit it. I have never been gay.**

**I don't believe you. You're not interested period. That's why you were such a messed up little bugger in the first place. You couldn't find it in yourself to love.**

**...I have loved. **

**I don't freaking believe you!**

**I **_**have **_**loved.**

**That's a load of crud.**

**I have loved more deeply and irrationally then you can ever possibly comprehend.**

**...Sorry if I can't believe that a sociopath can love anything but watching things die.**

**I beg of you, please do not mock this. **

**Voldemort doesn't beg.**

**Tom Riddle does.**

**Ha. Nice try. You're about to try and charm me with some tale of unrequited love, so you turned to murder to let out all the anger, right?**

**I don't think it's quite fair that you are ever judging me and never letting me speak. Whatever happened to second chances?  
****  
Look, it's just...I read about somebody who fell right into your hands. They were manipulated, and it nearly cost her life. I used to believe that you could change...but you can't. You're evil. AND a horcrux.**

**I am only a part of Tom Riddle. I am not him completely. You can't know for sure.**

**Yes, I bloody can! You are the product of murder! You are half of a soul. You are NOT human. You never had feelings. You never will. All you can feel is ambition, anger, and arrogance.**

**I am more human than he ever was! I've lived through this past century with only humans for company. I KNOW you now. I can see you. And I'm tired of waiting by the sidelines for somebody to let me free. I want somebody to trust me. I want somebody to **_**want **_**me.**

**Well, tough crackers. As touching as that was, I still don't believe you.**

**How can I make you understand? I won't even have magic!**

**LIES! ALL OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING ARE LIES! ...I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be writing to you. You're just going to keep trying.**

**No! I promise I won't...try. Don't leave!**

**Oh, like that will work! I see through you Tom Riddle. Now I KNOW you're planning something. You're asking me to trust you RIGHT now. And I don't trust you. I refuse to try. Goodbye, Tom Marvolo Riddle. It was fun, but I won't be coming back for more.**

I only felt mildly guilty as I slammed it shut. I had done right. I had resisted Lord Voldemort's influence. It was scary to think that I was that close...I mean, it was so subtle. If I wasn't so paranoid, I probably would have given in.

Who would enjoy a talking diary they knew they couldn't trust most?

Isis.


End file.
